Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
