oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
