I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You've changed since you got that strap on
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
