I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
