sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
