my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
