I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
