i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
