piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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