put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
