I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
