Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
