Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
