Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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