Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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