Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
