Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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