I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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