just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
