Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
