arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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