No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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