i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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