How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
