There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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