The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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