I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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