You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
