Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Randomize
