at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
