i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
