YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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