this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
