How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
