hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
