Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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