come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
