Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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