That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
