whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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