Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
