If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
