hotel room ftw
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
