Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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