Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
