is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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