The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
