So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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