Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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