Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
